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Copyright PennameWombat October 2018
The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.
Ed’s doubts about signing up for the day tour were rapidly evaporating as his eye caught a colourful group coming through the doors from the hotel. There were four women but his eye was drawn to the shortest, she was five-two, five-three, with short curly very light brown hair just touching the tops of her shoulders and off of her face.
She was wearing a tight and low cut light green tank top with her smallish bust aided by the finest breast engineering Victoria’s Secret offered to display the most attractive cleavage he recalled seeing in some time. She had on a short skirt of the same colour. Her legs, and her arms, were toned showing regular exercise. All of the skin on display was lightly and evenly tanned showing a defter touch than his with the sun and like him she was carrying a broad-brimmed hat, not surprisingly one more stylish than his if no less functional. He still wondered how she’d go in the sun.
They approached as Ed stood under the awning that protected the hotel’s tour bus access lot from the worst of the late morning sun. He assumed they’d join him on the 12-seater minibus taking them around Kangaroo Island to see the sights, a tour which lasted into the evening for a BBQ dinner and stargazing.
Then he realised that she was looking at him in a similarly appraising way when their eyes caught directly. He felt himself a bit lost when her mouth turned into a soft smile that broadened over a second, then she moved her gaze back to her friends but he was pretty sure she’d cast one last glance his way. Her companions were all an inch or three taller and reminded him of a colour wheel, one each in red, yellow, blue, two in loose flowing pantsuits and the other in a mid-calf sundress. Like him they too had on or were carrying broad-brimmed hats.
“Give me the fanny pack,” said Red, the tallest, to Yellow as she handed the bag over.
“It’s called a bum bag here,” Ed couldn’t restrain himself, “you shouldn’t use fanny.” The shortest one’s immediate smile and twinkling eyes seemed to encourage him.
The tall woman’s gaze was a bit squint-eyed, “Huh? What?”
“Yeah,” Ed continued, he was pretty sure they could discern his American accent, “because fanny refers to a woman’s vagina and saying that kinda implies you want to pack one.”
The slightly strained smiles on the three taller women showed a bit of embarrassment. The more intense smile on the shortest made him think that this wasn’t the first time this conversation had been had.
“About words,” Ed heard the short and very cute one with her own American accent say as she looked at him and put her hand on the shoulder of her companion in red, “I was told my friend Kayleigh here also shouldn’t say ‘she roots for the team,’ why not?”
Her devious smile left little crinkly lines laughing out from each twinkling eye and told Ed she knew very well what it meant. The swinging faces and slightly hunched eyebrows of her companions told him they were clueless.
“It means she plans to bestow her sexual favours on the team. The whole team.” in for a dime, thought Ed, “If she wants to do that please make it South Sydney, I’ve become a Rabbitoh’s supporter. You need to say you ‘support the team’ or ‘barrack’.”
His co-conspirator’s silent laugh contrasted with the seemingly disapproving looks of the others, especially that of Kayleigh who was swinging her glare at Ed and then her friend. Ed’s mood at having signed for this tour was improving by the second and while he had no particular thoughts about this Kayleigh the thought of rooting and the petite one led to an emergent pressure against the inside of his thin shorts. He wondered if it was noticeable.
At that moment a minibus pulling a trailer pulled into the car park and used the turnaround to do a one-eighty to pull alongside the small gathering, forestalling further conversation. It had “Southern Cross Tours” written along the side with the titular constellation painted on and a sandy-haired man was driving with a blonde woman in the passenger jump seat. Ed also noticed a pair of older, well-dressed men coming through the hotel door. Close-cropped greying hair, one with a trim moustache, their postures led Ed to believe they were a couple. They were dressed in lightweight slacks and shirts and like everyone they were carrying wide-brimmed hats.
The minibus door opened and the blonde woman stepped out, she was dressed in khaki shorts and had on a loose khaki short-sleeved button down shirt with a “Southern Cross Tours” logo on one breast and “Sue” on the other. She seemed somewhere in her mid or late thirties, her skin a bit sun-worn despite her precautions. The man seemed a bit older and a tad wrinkly but with friendly eyes.
“G’day mofos porno everyone, I’m Sue! And that gentleman in there is my husband Ben.” The latter, dressed similarly to his wife, waved at them.
“I hope you’re all ready for an exciting day. We’ll take good care of you. If everyone wants to step on we’ll not waste time and get started, I’ll tell you all about the day as we’re going to lunch.”
Sue had a clipboard and as everyone boarded she checked off their names. Ed stepped into the queue just behind the petite woman and as she smiled at him she offered her right hand.
“Debra,” she said, “but call me Debbie.”
He took her hand.
“Edward,” he said, following the protocol, “call me Ed.”
“I’ll just call you smart-arse,” she said, trying to put an Aussie lilt into her voice but not quite succeeding.
“I am that.”
He watched as her three taller friends stepped aboard. He also noticed the crinkly lines and some freckles across Debbie’s face contrasted with the apparent botox habit of her friends and their slightly plastic appearance, green and yellow also apparently going in for lip injections. How Debbie fit in, or better didn’t, with this crew was something he hoped to find out.
He gave his name as Sue smiled at him and checked him off on her list. There was a man and a woman already aboard from another hotel, their ‘good morning’ with a European or German accent Ed thought. The four musketeers sat in two rows and as Ed walked past Debbie gave him a quick smile. He continued to the second last row and sat on the opposite, passenger side of the minibus where he could easily see Debbie sitting in her aisle seat. He noticed she’d pulled on a loose long-sleeved shirt, he recognised it as one of the new UV-blocking but stylish lightweight outer layers. Ah, so that was her trick to get away with the amount of flesh she was baring. Ed had a similar product on, only his was short-sleeved. He knew even with the deep tan his six months in Australia had given him he was gambling but he felt like living dangerously.
The last two, Phil and Howard and their clipped British accents, Ed heard, sat ahead of the four women, who at this point were laughing at something and Kayleigh, the woman in red had a bit of a scowl. Something about rooting Ed thought.
Ben put the minibus into gear and they started off, Sue belted into her jumpseat and turned to face her audience. She held a microphone. Ed was pretty sure she could recite the upcoming speech in her sleep, backwards, underwater.
“Welcome to Southern Cross Tours,” she started, “I hope you’re all ready to see our beautiful sights here on Kangaroo Island!”
She paused to a smattering of “yeah” and “let’s go!” mainly from Debbie and her posse.
“Our first stop will be lunch at Dutton Wines. They’ll have plenty of their wines available for tasting and your tour includes one glass and lunch, so pick well! We have a locker in the back of the bus where you can store wines and anything else you want to buy, it’s chilled to keep everything nice.”
She paused again as people automatically looked backwards a bit.
“Then we’ll be off to see Seal Rocks, make sure you have your cameras, then afternoon tea at Wilson’s Honey Farm, then we’ll stop at the national reserve where we’ll see plenty of koalas.”
“What about wombats?” Ed asked, “They’re cuter and don’t smell like cough drops.”
Sue’s automatic smile wavered just a tiny bit, “wombats? Well, sorry, none of them.”
He nodded to her as Debbie cast a quick glance back, her half smile saying something like “you’re terrible.”
Sue went back on auto-pilot.
“At the koala reserve Ben and I will set up the barbie, it’s all in the trailer, and we’ll have beer and wines and a nice dinner. I have your orders here,”she held up the clipboard, “so don’t eat too much at tea!”
“Shrimps on the barbie?” Debbie asked.
Sue appeared well practised on this one. “Well, we’ll have prawns for an entree yes.”
Ed raised his hand just enough to catch Sue’s eyes, she glanced at him.
“What about football, meat pies, kangaroos and Holden cars?”
Ed could see the so-far silent Ben’s shoulders shaking and his head bobbing as he apparently fought to keep from laughing aloud and at the same time avoid driving the minibus into a ditch. The other passengers simply looked confused although Debbie’s tongue stuck just between her smiling lips as she looked at him caused the pressure in his crotch to become slightly more uncomfortable.
Sue’s face spun its way through a gamut of expressions like a pokie’s wheels, until Ed saw it finally settle.
“Well, keep an eye out since there might be lots of kangaroos in paddocks.”
“And probably Holden cars,” Ed couldn’t not add.
Sue decided to simply push on.
“Then we’ll set up the telescope ready for the best stargazing anywhere. Most of the island is national reserve, or ‘parks’ as ya’ll might say,” a quick American drawl, naughty america porno having read her audience, “and in addition the island is a ‘low light’ area. So only special streetlights that don’t shine out or up. It makes the stars just amazing. And we’ll have a full moon tonight so be prepared for anything!”
At the winery they had large open-sided tents with tables and a cold buffet spread for lunch. There were three other tour buses and a number of private cars in the car park, the servicing of tourists obviously a primary focus of the winery. Ed joined with Phil and Howard, introductions made he found they were from Oxford and were indeed a couple of long standing. Like him, this was their first time on the island but they were veteran visitors Down Under.
As best Ed could tell Debbie and her crew were old friends and this trip some sort of reunion or catch up. They were quite animated in their discussions and laughed regularly. He caught her eye a couple of times and her smile seemed to say “be patient.”
“I have all day,” he mouthed silently and her smile broadened for a second, seemingly understood.
“Nice tan,” Ed heard from behind him as he scanned the rocks for seals, snapping a couple of pictures with his phone. He turned and saw Debbie tracing his steps away from the rest of their group at their second stop for the day.
“Thanks,” he said, “it’ll probably kill me when I’m 50. Yours is probably much smarter.”
They continued on along a walkway farther from the others.
“First time in Oz?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she said, “our, um, well, we went to high school together in Seattle and promised one of our reunions we’d all come here. Somewhere that has sun.”
“Oh, five year reunion?” he asked.
She gave him a light punch in the shoulder, “Hah, butt kisser,” she said.
Why yes, he thought he would definitely enjoy doing that.
“Add ten. What’s your story Mr. America?”
“Working in Sydney for a year, been six months so far, trying to see as much of the country as I can while I’m here. Grew up in Utah, left after college, east coast, west coast, Portland a while so I know Seattle’s weather. Can’t sit still.”
She laughed a bit. “I’m in the Bay Area, my friends live all over now.” She offered a half glance back.
“If I can figure out a way to stay in this country, I’d enjoy that,” he said as they reached the end of the path which offered various views down on the rocks and beach, a few seals lazing.
“Just marry one of these Aussie chicks, they’re quite pretty what I’ve seen,” she said using the American ‘s’ sound and not the more accurate ‘zed’ of the locals.
“That’s an idea, haven’t managed to convince one yet.”
“You’re kidding, don’t know what they’re missing,” she said, making it obvious even with her sunglasses she was ogling him top to bottom.
They stepped slightly apart as they looked for more seals. Ed saw Debbie looking through her phone to take a picture and watched as she, apparently by reflex, stepped forward toward the edge of the rock. It wasn’t a big drop but it wouldn’t be a nice one.
“Debbie…” he moved quickly and as her foot hit the edge and she teetered forward he came up from just to her side and behind and put one arm quickly around her waist to lift her slightly and spin her back.
“Oh, shit!” her breathing was suddenly quick.
“You okay?” he asked as he held her. She’d kept hold of her phone somehow and now her free arm came over his and pinned it just below her breasts. The pressure of their arms and his height advantage give him a complete view down her tank, all smooth tanned flesh and green cloth as her outer shirt was parted widely and held by their position. He wondered if the tan ended anywhere.
“Thanks. Shit. I almost bought it. Thank you!” She took another deep breath then turned and kissed him on the cheek. She pulled back then turned a bit more and he leaned down to meet her mouth. He kissed her softly as her lips met his. Her mouth opened by degrees as their tongues made the lightest of contact. The top of her hip pressed into his crotch and he knew she had to feel that his prick was fully hard. He tried not to press it forward but she didn’t move away.
A footfall intruded on their attention, followed by an “um, ahem.” they both reluctantly looked and saw it was the red one, Kayleigh.
“I’ll see you at the bus, maybe, eh?” She turned and walked away.
“Guess we’d best get back,” said Ed, they slowly unwrapped themselves from each other.
“Yeah,” Debbie said quietly, “c’mon. Thank you again.” Her left hand took his right, squeezed it, he pressed against the solid band on her ring finger, then they released.
“Oh,” she held her left hand out just in front of her, “yeah. Don’t mind that. Nothing.”
“Why is that? If you don’t mind me asking,” Ed asked.
“The other’s husbands are in Adelaide, having a boy’s weekend. This is our girl’s weekend. But I left mine back in the States.”
She public agent porno paused and Ed didn’t intrude.
“Should’ve known, he’s a D-cup man,” she cupped her hand a couple inches in front of her shapely but not D-cup left breast, “and I’m not, wouldn’t, ya know, add anything.”
“Why mess with perfection? Doesn’t he know a B beats a D?” Ed said, “He sounds like a fool.”
Debbie laughed softly and her shy smile seemed to be silent agreement. She touched his arm lightly for a couple of heartbeats.
They saw the rest of the group filing onto the bus as they joined the back of the queue, Sue standing and counting her sheep. Debbie nudged Ed to get on first so he did with a slight shrug, unsure. He saw Kayleigh in the aisle just behind Phil in his usual spot, an empty seat behind her next to the yellow Elaine. The musketeers, reduced temporarily by one, had a guarded expression they directed at Ed as he smiled at them as he walked back to his row.
As he turned he realised Debbie had passed her row and was behind him so he scooted to the window and allowed her the aisle. Their shoulders were touching but her petite frame allowed her to keep their bare thighs just apart. He noticed Kayleigh’s raised eyebrow as she turned her head back to face forward, some quiet comments passing amongst the three.
Sue got in, Ben closed the door and Sue swung her jumpseat to again allow her to face them as she did up her seatbelt. She turned on her microphone and limbered up her voice as he drove.
“I hope you all enjoyed a sight of the seals! We’ll head to the koalas but on the way we’ll stop at one of Kangaroo Island’s best farms for afternoon tea. They have excellent honey so be sure to try and buy.”
At the farm they were the last two off the bus. He felt Debbie’s fingertips trace down his arm and he looked at her.
“I’ll be back,” she said very quietly but with a distinct Austrian cyborg accent, then she trotted off to catch up to her posse. Ed had worked a while in Germany and had the basics of the language so he decided to introduce himself to the Germans and strolled to catch up to them.
Back on the bus Ed went for the window as Elaine had apparently held up their group with indecision on whatever she now had in a plastic bag but there was also somewhat more scowling amongst the group, some glances by her friends at Debbie then at the bus. Debbie led them on and again continued past to rejoin Ed in the aisle seat, something in her eyes signalling to her companions who retook their seats, except Kayleigh who moved back to the aisle next to Elaine with a quick and Ed was sure disapproving glance at them.
Back in her own saddle Sue’s now overly familiar voice was back. Ed wondered if she turned off her brain for all of this.
“When we get to the Eucalyptus Grove we’ll take a few minutes to set up the awning. Then I’ll lead everyone who wants to go on a short walk, about twenty minutes, to see if I can introduce you to Pappy and some of our other favourite koalas,” Sue said, “then we’ll come back and Ben should have the barbie going. There are plenty of walks marked out and the signs all indicate how long the walks will take. You’re all free to go where you please, just stay on the paths to avoid disturbing the vegetation. There is a hike up a hill that gives you a panoramic view all the way to the west coast of the Island. Just remember to keep looking in the trees for koalas.”
“Do they do anything but sleep?” asked Kayleigh.
“They do sleep about twenty hours a day,” answered Sue.
“Where do I sign up for that job? That’s for me!” Kayleigh exclaimed.
“You’d have to sit in tree forks all that time,” said Ed, unable to resist anymore, “koalas have nicely padded butts to help.”
“Oh, Kayleigh, you really would be right for the job then!” added Debbie quickly, as she nudged her thigh against Ed’s, removed it then returned it and he pressed back to leave flesh on flesh out of sight of the rest.
The taller woman turned and said, maybe a bit sharper than necessary, “Your bony ass would be toast, Debbie!”
The exchange left everyone laughing, even Sue despite having her spiel upstaged again. Ed definitely didn’t think Debbie’s ass was bony but he did agree Kayleigh was better prepared for the tree fork sitting life.
Sue went back into her prepared spiel about the upcoming BBQ and then the stargazing setup. Debbie leaned back in her chair and her left hand drifted to her thigh then seemed to hesitate, both of their eyes were forward but Ed saw in his peripheral vision as she moved the hand until Ed felt her fingernails against his skin, then fingertips.
His hand moved to offer itself and by some unspoken agreement they moved to each other, Ed’s fingers over hers and making matching contact with her tanned thigh. He pushed his hand over hers as his fingers made firmer contact with her silky thigh. He unconsciously tensed his quad as he felt her fingers work their way over the top until her fingers were well down the far side, her palm now resting against the top. He slowly pressed down onto the inside of her thigh then moved toward her knee, then reversed direction. He heard the slightest sigh from her as her legs moved apart just enough to allow his hand passage, her hand came to rest at the hem of his shorts.
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